Insomniac on the sofa

Have to go to work tomorow and am down with insomnia.

Tomorrow is christmas eve and it will be half day off at work. These few days had been difficult – not with the nature of the job or the work load but rather having to deal with difficult people that I meet along the way. Things are never easy out in the corporate world and everyday is a learning experience.

The female A10 and A11s’ that I work with tend to be meticulous with their work but inept at relating to clients. Also, it is those nitty gritty things that one must note of the client’s corporate culture and be able to assimiliate into their environment, else you will find things really difficult for yourself.

I am beginning to understand why she quitted her job 2 weeks after commencing it. It is not the poor work-life balance, poor pay, overwhelming workload etc. It is the interpersonal relations that might be a strain on auditors and that is what I am currently experiencing. I am glad that this is only an internship for me to find out what is to come should I choose this as a career and I am quite happy to learn of the downsides of it to date. Not to be mistaken, but most ofthe time the downsides of a job are truly reflective of the nature of the job and how much you can deal with it determines how long you can stay in the job.

Birthdays have never come across that strongly to me, just that I have the opportunity to spend this one with my gf. Yet the very nature of work might distance us and I am currently seeing this occurence, which is really not worthwhile at all. I love her a lot, yet at the same time I do not want to pass up on this contrat opportunity. Is it really that difficult to ask god to give me this chance just to spend one decent birthday with my gf? I won’t blame her for not knowing my schedule…but seriously..how many people really remember my birthday?

I have always been remembering birthday for other people around me but what I get in return for my ownbirthday is very much dissimilar to what I have done for others. No gathering for me, and I really have no idea wat my loved ones are even going to do anything. My family has always been asking how I want it celebrated but hey, it comes to a stage where I have to even plan my own birthday. I always plan for other people, but when will others ever plan for me? This is a really tiring debacle that I am getting into.

Really…it’s really like any passing day for me now. The thought of this is really terrible.

What is even more terrible is the way that my gf wants to help me but I simply replied her with curt responses. Terrible indeed.

This has reached a point whereby I have shut myself from my friends, family and loved ones. It’s been the thinking that I am going through that is sending me into this state of insomnia. This old illness is back tonight again but I do not know how to overcome it. It’s a long night ahead.

Disgusted, totally

It’s not normal for me to rant over writing, but sometimes some people really do get on my nerves.

Had a peer evaluation for my ethics groupwork while there was this foreign student who had to defend his stand like mad (just like how a PhD student will defend his thesis, right c’mon). Trying to write and ride on the sentimental and emotional part of the prof isn’t exactly the best way to appease your disgruntled group mates, especially when you keep saying that your english aint that good and cannot contribute to group projects.

Let me be really frank and honest here dude. I came to Singapore not knowing a word of English and had to put up with the arduous task of learning on my own while having to surivive on taunts from my fellow schoolmates consistently. It is through my own determination, perseverence and hard work that I am able to write and speak fluently today. Yes, true that you may have come to Singapore only as an undergraduate and may find the learning curve slightly steeper, especially when things are moving at such a fast pace in SMU just like the corporate world.

This exactly brings me to the point of the corporate world. If you had described me as being “aggressive” in the group, then tell you what: you are in one hell of a shock when you go out there to work in the corporate world. Face it dude, SMU student’s competitiveness and aggressiveness are only scraping the surface of the harsh corporate world and if you think you are going to get a nice friendly working environment with your fellow colleagues, I suggest that you go work in a charity organization of some sorts.

Long story short: I have met foreign students who came to SMU with a poor grasp of the English language and meeting obstacles in communicating with their fellow project group mates. Even if they do not understand what we are talking about or submit the wrong piece of work for their project part, they still make the effort to take the initiative and clarify where had gone wrong and how they can rectify it. See it? THE EFFORT. THE INITIATIVE. That’s what I really appreciate about them – making the first move and having to work on it once more to get it right, even if it means doing it all over again.

You just send out your speech and conveniently type in the email ‘thanks for helping me to edit’. Bollocks man. What makes you think that we are going to do it for you? The only reason why we did it was because your part was totally off the point, even though we constantly reminded you to approach us to clarify any gray areas.

You mentioned that other group project mates had been very encouraging in getting you to contribute but look here: you are jolly well in year 2 and there ain’t anyone who’s gonna ‘babysit’ you through this project. You are so not going to get this as the years pass in SMU and I can tell you while those previous project group mates are being nice to you, they are doing a major misfavour to your future project group mates who will have to bear the brunt of your workload. If you keep saying that you can’t keep up with the pace of SMU, perhaps it’s too taking too much time for you to catch up – 2 YEARS! This excuse can’t see you through all the way to year 4 and you better think of some other better excuse.

One last thing – you claiming me to be ‘cold’. I limited the damage damn you. I could have just ‘killed’ you off early in the term and it would really have been curtains for you by then. Everyone’s for their ownself out there, so just be happy that you got a B for the project and suck on it dude.

*I don’t usually go to such extremes to be that mean but this fellow really wore my patience thin*

雙眼

我讀到了。什麽都看到了。

知道你最近去看了醫生, 希望你好過一點了。最近真的很忙，沒有辦法和你聯絡。

就要說請你好好照顧自己，愛惜你的生命。

 

What did I eat?

That was what I had been pondering over the whole day.

Have got a terrible diarrohea and I don’t friggin know how I got it in the first place. Its gotta be one of the places I ate on either monday or tuesday. Not the most glam of illnesses but hey, its really killing me man.

Knees go weak, feel so queasy and I think I’m not allowed to drink more water? Have been drinking water non-stop like a 水桶 and I don’t think I’m getting any better hahas. Guess I’ll probably give the AGM a miss tmr morning and go see the doc if things dont get any better lol.

Post exam fever

It’s the end of another academic year. Summer lies ahead and this is a very different summer for me, especially when I will be on intern and sort of experience real time work life.

The past experiences over the few days have taught me a lot of things and the biggest take away was probably 承諾. It is not too much of a difficulty to break up and cast all what you had done earlier on to waste. It’s just one small incident in your life that people will change their view of you. It is just that little bit of carelessness that does away all the good things that you had done.

In the meanwhile, I’ve finally started cabaling up to level 23 now but winston aka LingHuChong (what an in game character name) has already started way ahead of me! Wah lan eh….cheaterbug man. Started even before the exams started and end up i have to take his items lol..damn embarrasing man

Club matters are really breathing down my neck and it seems the SAAT just aint wanna give the clubs any room for asset negotiation. I sense BLOOD! Hate emails are probably going to fly all over the place and a war is starting! Just cant wait for the drama to come man wahhahas

Thank you

弟弟. When I broke down a while ago you were there to pick me up.

I’m typing this behind your back while you are gaming away..it is not that I do not wish to say this to you in front of you..but its always been our habit not to thank each other for the emotional support we provide to each other. I have not spoke a single word for the whole night and yet you still understand.

The last time you broke down, I was there for you. This time when I broke down, you are here for me.

One day when you read this post, you will know that I have said thank you to you already.

WordPress-ing @ work!

It’s 11pm and I’m still at the office on a thursday night HAHAS

I’m really like so gonna cry given that my boss still wants me to think of a virtually impossible science experiment that can entertain the kids and convince the parents at the same time that we have a marvellous science programme. I’ve still got MPW readings to do and worst of all, I still have to prepare for my individual presentation tomorrow.

The weekend is all about training and working out that CAT project. Looks like tomorrow night is the ONLY free night left this week where I can happily go about doing my own stuff. Before long it will be week 11 again.

Now I know why adeline calls me her SMU idol lols

My goodness…i dont see any sleep coming at all tonight. Figure out that I will probably only reach home earliest at 1am. Probably the summer internship at cypress singapore might help lighten my workload a little bit. Take some time off work, and finally fully focus on a proper job at one time hahas

Random: Why do I keep thinking of our convo that looong night? Hmph

I’m still around

Not exactly that dead yet though but I totally worn out and battered.

Still quite ill after the horrible last week and haven’t really got the time to recover at all. Totally beaten in the top seed pot at yesterday’s competition and I’m seriously reconsidering my next step in archery. Looks like its a long road ahead.

Nana you were right about me being looking so sad after the competition. I never wanted to show my disappointment in front of you but I guess tonight is really the night where I am just letting it all out as a failed sportsman. 

Yes I can be strong while talking to you last night but it didn’t help when i went back to my bed, totally emotionally battered and losing the will to fight again. You are just always that positive about things but the conversation was seriously heading nowhere last night. This is really a testing time for me as a captain and I have to face the team again and OSL, while maintaining all that little dignity that is left in me.

I’m just going to curl up in my bed and finish those readings. As far as I’m concerned the day’s over for me.

超爛的

生病了。。喉嚨發炎

精疲力盡

肯定是這幾天一直到處往外跑

尤其昨天的行程表簡直是嚇死人

要跑兩回的面試，回學校比賽，晚上看電影

難怪回到傢別人msn都不回應

躺在桌上睡去了

現在還要準備拜五的考試

何時還在有空電話聊天，出去玩和找好吃的

真希望這一刻會快快離去。。

也要快快好起來 *咳*

Why you don’t believe me~~

I really want to puke blood already.

When I put my literary works in chinese on msn people think i’m emo.

When my msn nick puts vivi people think i’m hankering after this girl called vivi/vivian.

When I tell people that vivi is my nickname they think that I’m trying to lie my way out of it and wish to avoid the topic of relationship.

When I don’t reply then people think I’m angry and stomped off.

When I reply to say its ok then people don’t reply me back.

This is when I get irritated and pissed when you just cut me off like that.

Why you don’t believe me~~

______________________________

 

Probably my favourite singer of all time – Brian Mcknight. Grew up loving his songs such as the 6, 8 ,12, back at one, one last cry but everytime you go away is simply my all time fav which i will keep hitting the repeat button just to get the chorus part! He’s just overtaken my (used to be fav) R Kelly.

He is really a talented singer. You can call his songs poppy or what BUT I DONT REALLY QUITE CARE coz its really really good for healing the broken heart hahas (that’s what I got mistaken for though, for having a broken heart by a new friend that I got to know today rahs)

I’m supposed to be studying my AIS but i’m happily catching up on the old music videos on youtube in the wee hours of the morning and there’s still training tomorrow morning! I’m like how screwed but its the sense of nostalgia that you just cannot resist (: