When sitting comfortably on your bus seat: Textbook & notes – Goes to show your concientiouness. Even better if you fall asleep as it goes to show how hardworking you are. Wear school uniform for maximum effect.

When waiting in the clinic for your turn to consult the doctor – Definitely not the ‘I got a STD so what do I do about it’ pamphlet: You won’t want to send out the wrong signals do ya?

When in the toilet doing big business – Lianhe Wanbao: It is a relaxing read so it will help you to relax literally.

When you are in the MRT – Business times: So that commuters will think you are some ATAS kia/Trader wannabe/Some executive whose car broke down and can’t get a cab during after work peak hour. They won’t shove you around because they know you are a gentleman. Be in formal wear for maximum effect.

When it is bedtime – FRS 39: Try going through a few pages of it and you will know why. (At this point of writing I have only cleared paragraphs 85 – 89 and I am trudging to bed)