“孤單的天空， 沒有我要的自由
我的悲傷比我要的快樂還來的多
我懂了一個人的生活
一個人的脆弱
一個人的寂寞
一個人的承受
謝謝妳 至少還喜歡過我”
如果那天我給了妳要的答案， 那麽或許事情會更簡單些。
這麽一來夜深人靜的時候，那令人難以抵抗的寂寞和孤單。
就像微風毫不留情來襲時將楓葉吹落。
楓葉失去消息，就像妳選擇逃脫那樣。
明明，還能感覺你的存在，你的呼吸。
你還給著溫暖，但是我還是感受到無與倫比的寂寞。
妳說過我是妳的完美，而因爲妳我才會有僅有的堅持。
我的眼淚不在你的眼前， 而是流淚出手心。
因爲你離別放手的聲音。
我是聽見了心被悄悄撕裂的聲音。
回味當初以爲可以控掌的幸福。
仔細看透原來是我犯下沒承認的錯。
我想，我是愛過妳。
但是妳不懂我的眼淚，
我也懂不要欺騙自己，
所以這次，
我想，我是愛錯了吧。
*情緒超爛的時候，我從容自己難過，不會強迫自己去掩飾什麽。
然後驚訝的發現，早晨的陽光是很溫和的。原來，我是可以一個人好好過。*
ABSOLUT-LY ROCKS MAN
Just spent the night over in school and woah what a night it was man. Inundated with work the whole day all the way up to 10 pm before managing to ‘chope’ the sofa in the CCA Room and managed to start settling down and finish up on all my individual project parts (though its only 70% done to date lol).
Was joined by ryan, luk and heng before zipping off to spize cafe at river valley in heng’s car. Mambo-ed all the way there with hits like ‘Call Me’ (claps) ‘Call Me’ (double claps) ‘Baby Baby Call Me Now’ (does mambo moves). Was in for a really inspirational talk by heng about what I can do for my archery team in the near future. Respects man.
Back in school at 4am and was like totally drained from the day’s activities but still managed to log into facebook and manage a post or two. Subsequently slipped myself into a sleeping and slept the rest of the night (if there’s any) away.
Woke up at 8am and amazingly managed to finsish reading up and practicing finance before packing up and setting off for training (which is like now at this point in time when I’m doing this entry). Well done eh, vivi~
AND YES, ABSOLUT-LY light bulb
Wednesday – Waiting for the lift at SESS 3rd floor only to be greeted by the scene of a couple making out in a lift (do they actually know that the cameras in the SMU lifts are fully operational and they probably provided a romance scene for the security and..me, unfortunately?). Go in also not right. Don’t go in also not right. Heck man, just went in. That was probably the longest time period that ever passed for me when travlling in a lift 3 floors down)
Friday – Bumped into a couple trying to get hanky panky in CCA Room. They hurriedly packed up and left when I chanced upon them. I’m no peeping tom k. I was just there to retrieve my book from my locker.
Saturday (the ultimate light bulb day where I shone the brightest)
Returned to CCA Room after training at 7pm and bumped into a couple who wanted to keep hush hush (not the first time already). Was in the CCA Room at 9.30pm and a couple who obviously wanted to funny funny was shocked to see me sitting there. Same couple i bumped into came back again at 10pm.
I’m like how bright lahs.
今天有一位朋友說了一句話
似乎讓我察覺到了一種錯愕感
在頻繁的生活中
人類的勾心鬥角
何不稍微停一下
想一想你所做的一切
在你和他人的生活中
究竟是留下了什麽記號
就是不知最近怎麽搞的。*攷* 事情一旦不順利就在那裡發嘮叨，拼命的*拷貝攷不*。其實朋友眼裡都看得很不順眼但是他們都知道我的坏脾氣。。所以都沒說出來（直到今晚爲止）
在考金融科系期間就一直拼命的讀。有了專題也不會主動拿出來給大家參考。人性就是那麽爛~~一旦有了能將他們處於優勢的東西，他們往往都會將拼命的守住，期待著它對你所大利益。其實想想看，要是他人有本事的話就拿去吧。有本事的人考得比你好那就證明你的實力；相反的，他要是真的沒實力你再給他更多的專題也是沒用的。
審計科輪到我呈現我的個人專題作業。雖説是專題作業但是還是得到smux兄弟的幫忙。哪災我不領情還閙得不爽，搞個人show。專題作業結束了后心裡總是悶悶的，想找個答案來安一安。
今天搭捷運回家時朋友就說我還是有點類似會計科的人 – 就是老愛著拼搏，自私自利，不會分享，不顧他人感受。他的直率和坦言對我來説是一種覺悟。或許是在這匆忙的生活中，樣樣都已優為目的早已忘了自己人生中的目標。是真正的朋友，才會以坦言對待著你。
晴空燦爛的藍天
心裡卻是霧裡的灰
貪婪醜陋的思戀
如細雨般的一一椮入肉體
不是一句歹勢
能像烏雲橫跨晴空
掩埋一切
這樣笑過去
覺悟擦覺一一的閃過去
在眼前划出一道絲光
狂暴的内裡掙扎
如風雨一直打轉著
天邊出現的曙光
抓一絲絲曙光
點燃希望
愛超越邏輯如彩虹划過晴空
我的憂傷已被思戀替補
Okayy
First ever writing in english. Been receiving comments that people don’t understand what the hell i’m writing about HAHAS
And yes, this is the huat week. Where undergrad tutors all around singapore mainly make $$$ because of the exam period. It seems like a mini-windfall has fallen upon undergrads who have to scrimp and save for their meals and textbooks. Students whom you haven’t seen in months suddenly ring you up and tell you suddenly how important tuition is to them.
Weeknights and weekends suddenly seemed devoted to running to student’s houses and spending 1.5 hrs there. If you are lucky, the moms might just whip up dinner for you. If not, prepare some bread along with you in case of gastric pain (due to stress and travelling to and fro).
On a side note….
Nick and Eva! (my buddies!)I’m not that emo okaayyyyss so don’t worry about me. Those previous proses that i wrote in wordpress was basically for my friend okayys, NOT ME. He’s like so darn miserable due this triangle thing he got himself caught in. He’s like living art you know (fyi, he was SUPER EMO TO THE MAX while i was talking to him at of all places, mcdonalds’) and i managed to potray his feelings quite vividly okay! Will let you know this fri if i’m coming. By the way, great night out man last fri IT ROCKS MAN. Jet, show us your 4 cigarettes in one mouth trick again wahahas
Aights guys this sat is herng’s day. Don’t forget about it yea?
今天真的是爛透了 囧
照片裡手上拿的是我今天剛買的箭
（已經斷成一半了）唉~~~
沒想到用了不到一個小時
一次的失手造成了宇宙無與倫比
天大的錯誤
*回想一下*
弓手已經斗得很厲害了。鉉手已經很盡力的握住弓鉉而況且雙肩背已合併了，但爲何還沒聽到箭盤‘噠’的那一聲？不管了啦 ~~用盡全力將弓手拼命推出去而鉉手一放。。就知道有點不對勁了。 一旦聽到‘鏘’的那一聲，天大的噩夢在我眼前一幕一幕的浮現。好好＄300的箭斷成了一半~~~
*別那麽夢幻了啦*
啊！！！！真的是有夠火的！ 隊友的安慰和隊長的鼓勵都是沒用的啦。 我這個人就是這樣 – 在運動方面一旦自己犯錯就會好像陶醉在自己發揮的小宇宙似的，根本都不會去理會周圍的人。根本聼不進去。根本不去理睬隊友。根本不會體驗他們的感受。
就像九月的全國大賽。贏了全國縂冠軍也沒感謝隊友。在團隊賽只求勝利的我因爲隊友失常我便發火不睬他們。前幾天的箭射團比賽總決賽只求贏就忽略了友誼賽的意義。再次摘下了冠軍杯可是我會真的開心嗎？
國中和高中那籃球輝煌的時代的我總是一踏上球場就是變成另一個人似的。平時大家認識的vivi在球場上像是個陌生人~~根本只會爲了贏便做自己的。隊友打好球我也不屑。隊友打出爛球或者在要輸球的情況下vivi就變成魔鬼似的。到處亂喊亂罵像是個瘋子~~
或許自己太執著，太固執，太已自己為中心了。真的該檢討一下。贏了冠軍也不代表一切咧。
斷箭
因某某事
在心裡蒙上一塵霧
打亂了思緒
造成心不在焉
無法將心情沉澱
無法用全心射擊
真是煩，更是亂
帶我到這茫茫的花園裡
油菜花的芬芳
溫穩的橙色夕陽
似乎讓我明瞭
わかった
君がばかやろう
(hahas! 還好日語派的上用場！看不懂的話儘管問吧！呵呵）
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